ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
