I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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