you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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