We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
