She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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