quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
