remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
