Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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