Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
