What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
