Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
