my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
