I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
