Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
