Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
