All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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