Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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