it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
