Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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