I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
