Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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