so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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