Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
