She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
