dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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