I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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