I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
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totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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