i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
