i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
