how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
