Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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