I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
