So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
