So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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