im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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