Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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