Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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