I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize