There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
