I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
