please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
