That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
