Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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