If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
