She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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