I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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