My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
