this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
