Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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