maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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