It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize