a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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