what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
