I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
