there's paper in my vomit.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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