I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
