all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
