I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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