i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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